i am not celebrating because i do not deserve this. i don’t deserve to be a year older. i don’t deserve to have good friends who care. i don’t deserve to be loved and given attention from a boyfriend. i realised that i am an extremely mean person and i am so selfish that i don’t deserve all these good things life has to offer.
i have to quit my job. i no longer have the strength to commit.
i have to make my boyfriend leave me because i am not a good person, i am just not sufficient for any guy. and it wasn’t so difficult to make him leave. because i supposed he has been waiting so long to finally be free from me. i appreciate such tolerance. i am not an easy person to be with. i am tiring to talk to. being with me is just so emotionally draining. i walked away way too many times. every single time i walk away, i want to be chased. but i should know myself better. i do not deserve it. i do not get treated like queens like all them other girls. and it is not because my boyfriend isn’t amazing, he is, it is just that i am not worthy of it. i am a brat. i am rude. i say mean things all the time. i insult people like they have no feelings. and i got away with it? it’s not fair. my boyfriend deserve someone so much better than i am.
i have to stay away from my friends because they are all so wonderful. my best friend is about the nicest friend anyone can have. someone like me, do not deserve a friend like that.
i should stop asking for too much from my family. they’re always there for me and never got tired of me. they’ve been tolerating my temper and mood swings and failures for far too long. and i’ve never made them proud.
i don’t deserve any kindness from anyone. looking at my facebook timeline, i realised that i was a trashy person. i should thank god for having someone to pick me up and love me even though i don’t deserve it. and thank god for giving my friends a huge degree of tolerance to stick by a person like me.
i’ll turn 22 in a few hours times. i’ve already made my boyfriend hate me because i can already see how he’s removing me from his life. and until i’ve proven myself worthy, i will stop seeing/talking to any of my friends for i do not wish to further embarrass them for being with someone like me.
in an hour time, i’ll send in my resignation letter.
yes, you can call me that, A QUITTER.
i quit because i have never been kind, i have never made anyone proud of me, and i always disappoint.
i do not wish to disappoint anyone anymore. i must go.
not a happy birthday to me. i am not celebrating. and i do not welcome any well wishes.
i’ve switched the sun off. i am never gonna shine.
