I prepared everything like he was going to celebrate tomorrow with me. Right from the place, the food, the cake and the present, the card. Even the dress. But I know it’s not going to happen. Because he left. He probably celebrate it with his friends, party it up the whole night. Or he may not celebrate at all. And that to him, that is so much better than to celebrate it with me. Seeing my face would probably irks every atom in him. Yet I still hope I could make him happy with the presents I prepared and the food I cooked. A year ago, he’s happy with just seeing me in a dress.
I am not a happy person. I cannot make him happy. No matter how hard I tried.
Yes I tried so hard. But I don’t think he knows that. Or maybe my efforts are not sufficient.
So I will continue trying. Even though I know it’s not me that he wants now. There are many more reasons to why he should leave than the reasons why he should stay.
I’ve decided on the time, place and dress code. I’ll bring everything needed for a tiny birthday party. And if he’s not there, I supposed I’ll be doing it on my own. I’ll blow the candles, eat the cake, read the card and give the presents to myself.
I’m not sad, just a little worried and nervous.
Happy Birthday. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
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